Pianissimo
by xShirayukixRukiax
Summary: Everyone he knew thought he died just like the others...but Haru continued believing...five years later, a single musical piece would lead her to the man she had sought for five years. full summary inside


**Hello. I am back with my second Gokudera-Haru story. I really hope you guys will like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR.**

_**Summary**__: Haru had known him since high school and he became her lover, her live-in partner. He would only come as he goes, never settling for something permanent. She would only wait and let him go, never asking where he goes. And when she decided to get involved into his inner world, she realized that it was too late for her to ask about him because by then, her lover, had gone missing and never returned. _

_And as she continued waiting for an uncertain return from a man she had so callously taken for granted for the sake of her own private protection, she would come to understand a man who had been hiding behind the shadows of the scowl. Through his connections, she would come to learn the dark past he had so gradually buried deep down only to resurface upon his friend's death. _

_And amidst it all, she will come to answer the questions she had so often asked to herself. _

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This is how their story started and it started like any ordinary story at all. But this one is a little bit unique in its own way and that certain uniqueness of their first meeting would only dawn on them five years after living together and finding each other.

She was Miura Haru, a well-known reporter across the nation and a very well-respected woman. How she started to begin living a life outside the bounds of marriage is still something until now she could not comprehend.

All she knew was that it started for her that night she was in the V's club when her bright eyes immediately caught the silver so conspicuous among the great crowd. She does not know why but the moment their eyes met, she knew her life would be changed forever. Her sheltered life would soon be put into test.

That one instant when their eyes communicated, they had already understood. After her show, she left her friends and sought him out and there she found him outside, carefully smoking a cigar as he stared at the starry night, his face so deep in thought that she thought he was an enigma.

"The time sure flies by so fast," he spoke without looking at her as if he already knew she would look for him outside. Surprised, Haru managed to just stand there for a few seconds before he turned to her with another guarded look. "You haven't change Miura."

"Thanks," she mumbled. "The same goes for you Hayato."

This time, a small smile curved his lips. "My place is a few blocks away, would you like to come with me?"

It surprised her that she never hesitated for a single moment. Having no second thoughts, she took his extended hand and shared the night with him. That is how she – a conservative woman – had become his lover in his own choosing.

Maybe what made their relationship work was the fact that neither asked about each others' business. He would simply come home whenever he finds time and would always go away…so far away that five years later, Haru wished she had had the courage to inquire.

He never spoke about his business and neither did she. He would only come to her place when he returned to Namimori but other than that, he would spend most of his life trotting away. It worked well for Haru who had always wanted space from a relationship – whatever kind that was.

Anyway, whatever kind of set-up they had agreed upon, both had benefited from it and they never tied one to each other. They live a loose knit relationship or so it was what she thought it was and thus allowed her to actually see herself as simply nothing but a disposable thing for him.

But a year passed and their relationship progressed. This time, when he would come to her, he would stay for more than a week and by chance, he allowed himself to talk about himself. And that is where she learned that he was a bastard son. That he had a sister living in Italy.

And for all the years that they have been together, she could say that that was probably the only thing that stuck in her mind. He never told her more about his backgrounds – about families or much more, friends.

Then he would walk away again and wanders to god-knows-where and she would simply allow him to. Maybe she never dared asked where he would go or what he is doing for a living because she knew that by doing so, she would be breaking the agreement they both had for each other.

But inside her, she knew that whatever kind of life he was leading, it was dangerous or much more, illegal. She chose to keep her mouth shut even when he told her a little about what he does in life. "I'm a wanderer…traveling from place to place…looking for people. I worked for a certain man."

Again, it was only five years later that she regretted never asking him about it for only then when she realized from his last visit that he might not be coming back, it was already too late and the only thing left for her to do is to wish for him to come back safely.

Even when he talked about the same thing for the second, third and fourth time, she chose to remain uninterested about his life, about his business…

It was probably the fatal mistake she had ever committed – the choice of remaining to be ignorant about him instead of trying to ask him about it.

And so the routine continued until his last visit. She remembered it well when he was talking to someone over the phone and it was probably the first time she saw some other emotions lurking behind his eyes – it was one of uncertainty.

And so he told her what the news was about. A close friend was killed. He only mentioned something like Ryohei or something like that. And when he realized she would say nothing except extending her condolences, he stood up and sighed.

"I'm going…"

And it surprised her that for the first time she asked the question. "Where?"

Even he was surprised about it and he stared at her for a quiet moment, a lazy smile grazing his lips. "You never asked me that before."

She remained standing a few feet from him, her attire was that of a businesswoman. "I know and I am asking now."

A clouded emotion before the smile left his face and was then replaced by a regretful look in his green eyes. "Somewhere…far away…far, far away and it'd be best for you not to know…at least for your own safety."

And for the first time, she felt that uncertainty inside her…the uncertainty that he might not come back. She swallowed hard, feeling fear inside her. "When…will you come back?"

He merely stared at her for a guarded moment before sighing to himself. "I…don't know. I might or I might not. Only circumstances can tell."

She blinked. "What circumstances?"

Again, he looked surprised by her growing question but his answer was a careless shrug. "This and that."

That sudden cold at the pit of her stomach increased and she gripped her briefcase tightly as her eyes stared at him, regarded him for a moment, before asking something which took him by surprise yet again.

"Would you go…even if I asked you to stay?"

For a fleeting moment, a tender look crossed his face before it was once again replaced by his permanent expression. "I'm sorry."

Haru nodded slowly. "Then…is it alright for me to tell you to please come back safely?"

The smile was back in place and he crossed the distance between them and gave her a passionate kiss. It would have been okay if not for his next statement.

"I hope I can…but somehow I know…you'd be facing a different man."

And so it was how they both parted and his statement was clear to her only when she started digging into his life, finding out answers after a year of not receiving a single word from him.

And so that is where this story starts…Haru's quest for her lover, as well as finding answers to questions she never dared asked before…and at the same time, her quest for the man who was Hayato Gokudera …the real one before that something changed him into what Haru had known in those five years….

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